I lived during the flood of 5-2-10

It's been raining for days and doesn't seem to be stopping which really sucks. I'm so tired of this rain. It's flooded half of Georgetown and the only way out of town is the interstate because the country roads between Lexington and Georgetown are majorly flooded. They are so flooded if you drove your car though it well it maybe lost for days or have to be towed out. And it's so bad they are calling it a state of emergancy and calling off school,shuting down roads and putting out boil water advoisry. I wish it would just end now. I mean i'm sick of rain.

My only fear is flooding really bad like bad when i was in like 5th grade. Georgetown flooded so bad we were out of school for days trying to keep people save. or like my Jr year when they wouldn't let us leave school early till it stopped raining for fear so dumbie would go crazy and drive like 80 in the rain and wreak. according to the news we're getting into historical territory with Sunday's rainfall, and they say it's far from over.As of 2:30 p.m., we've had 3.53" of rain,which already set the record for the wettest Lexington and surronding counrties have been for May.If it were to not rain another drop ,we're already the 18th wettest day ever measured in Lexington in over 100 years of record keeping.The wettest day ever in Lexington was August 2, 1932 when an incredible 8.04" fell.I hope that doesn't happen.I mean I know of two dates already that were historic in rainfall in the last few years. One being September 23, 2006 4.76" fell and the other October 23, 2007 where 4.33" fell. Please just let it stop raining.


Here are just a few pictures of Georgetown Right now:

Until you find yourself, it's impossible to lose you

I've noticed that in collge i've stayed true to me. Many people changed as soon as mom and dad left but not me. I stayed the same i changed very very little.And here we are at the end of another year and the start of a new one. I really have to admit I knew it was coming but it didn’t really hit me until last night when I took more in that one second to think about it. A whole year has gone by. Another rotation began. It’s been a whole year since I decided Murray State just wasn’t for me yet. I need hope. I need security. I need home…God. Soon I'll be 20. That’s how I see it. Gives me a kick in the butt. Makes me want to do what I want more and get rid of everything making me sour.But that’s not today. That’s tomorrow. Today is about remembering not planning. And it seems this year has more to remember than most. It’s been one pretty messed up year. To think we’re I was at this point last rotation and to think where I am now. I’m fairly reluctant to read over old letters, papers and even old posts on here I made within the last year for fear of what I might re-discover.But briefly let’s just recap this year. August ‘09 - leaving my friends, leaving a party I felt part of to go and sit on a block of cement. With no clock no radio no concept and a cold heart. Just knowing I needed something new. A new start perhaps, a new way of thinking of my life and where it was going from here. A way out of DramaVille, KY (Georgetown) and way from that high school that caused pain but yet some great memories.My summer at ended at college no more was I a baby being protected from the world by my mom, my aunt, and my granny. It ended. On to a new life. Lots of hidden words from people and lots of anger towards one. But that anger only holds a person back in the end. There were lots of conversations. Parkside with Leah and Nikki around this time, the two I hated to leave the most besides my mom.A party - where I took the cheap way out. The stupid way. I still try not to regret it though because in turn it has made me a different person. It still makes me feel vulnerable to some but it has made a difference. Running away to a old life into a new one seemed scary but really helped me understand what mom had been telling me about all my life...being with new people in the end. Putting myself under the spot light. Finding out who I was. Giving myself up to new people. Going out with new friends. Growing closer to my mom and my “sisters”. I even found it in my Heart to stop with all the hate towards my James(my dad) I can’t even bring myself to say that but when I type it I start to cry. I can’t even explain it. But it makes more sense than the hatred we always had. Learning to live with new people. Being opened to new experiences. New ideas. New lives. And even through this. More people. In the end we all realize we have problem and you need to grow to fight for what you want. you fight and then moments after you regret it. You realize you have more problems. You stand back. You wait. You go out and ignore what’s around you. Make one remark and get thrown back in. And from there you watch more movies than you ever have been to before. You find that you are more open to questions. You have actually changed through the events of the year. And you sit and cry and the person you are now. More like you than before took a risk and met people - people I did not know. I spent a day with them. Got to know them. Say another side. I took the risk and trusted a lot of people. And to my surprise a lot came through for me. I admit this year; I took a lot of time just worrying about myself. But I don’t think that all in all a bad thing. I have defiantly come out a different person to where I went in. I think I’m almost confident enough to go re-read last year.

she just stuck in Houstatlantavegas

So summer has come sooner than i thought it would. I feel like i wasn't in school but a month. But i learned alot in college. I guess after 19yr i can still learn something new that can change my life. I learned to live with someone i never knew who actually turned out to be a really good friend of mine now. I learned that As i start to get older i've notice something...I'm getting more and more like my mom :) in a good way:) i love my M.A.C Make-up my perfume and getting my nails and hair done, My coach bags and MMA Fighting. & I have her Heart♥ and I can say I'd honestly do anything for anyone at anytime :) I ♥ my mommy :)I guess you can say i'm a mini her in a way.I've also learned older people Like 50ish can love rapper just as much as young people can.

With College I've learned that I need to have and put my faith in God because he does everything.Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!I've learned that I can rep for my town any where even if it is a little one horse town(Take Yourself A Picture When I'm Standing At The Mound Man I Swear It's Going Down I'm Just Reppin For My Town.) And to tell the ones you love you love them before they are gone beacause you never know what could happen to them .I seen so many people die in my life that were friends, family, etc. I watched their loves one change for the better and some for the worste.

God I just pray when I go home nothing changes it all goes back to the same as before.So in the end, was it worth it? Jesus Christ. How irreparably changed my life has become. It's always the last day of summer and I've been left out in the cold with no door to get back in. I'll grant you I've had more than my share of poignant moments. Life passes most people by while they're making grand plans for it. Throughout my lifetime, I've left pieces of my heart here and there. And now, there's almost not enough to stay alive. But I force a smile, knowing that my ambition far exceeded my talent. There are no more white horses or prince charming are at my door.I'm Just Stuck in here in what Drake calls Houstalantavegas. So in the end tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope.

Obama's Education Refrom/ No Child Left Behind

So I'm almost to the end of one chapter and the start of a new one. Freshman Year is almost over and I still can't help but want to read more and more into the Education Reform Act that Obama signed back into law at the end of March. So i started looking more and more into this bill and here is what i've come up with:

Recently President Obama signed a revised copy of what was known as the education reform act or during the age of Bush the No Child Left Behind Act or NCLB. NCLB is a federal legislation that is based on the belief that setting high standards and establishing measurable goals can improve individual outcomes in education. The Act requires states receive federal funding for schools to have assessments in basic skills to be given to all students in certain grades .The Act does not assert the national achievement standard but yet the standards are set by each individual state. The main goals of the NCLB act is to improved test scores, improvement at local standards increase accountability, get the attention of minority population and improve over all education quality. “We have let our grades slip, our schools crumble, our teacher quality fall short and other nations outpace us," Obama said. "Accountability" has become the keyword in the education reformin the United States. During the presidency of George W. Bush, it was also the guiding principle of intergovernmental relations, according to a little-noticed essay in the 2002 Economic Report of the President .

One point is there’s a lot of talk out there about accountability in education and share that concern. But it shouldn’t all be on the teachers. There should be more accountability in our schools myself. Yes, according to President Obama the most important factor when a child steps into the class room that will determine their achievement is not the color of their skin or where they come from; it's not who their parents are or how much money they have but who their teacher is. Many students step into classroom thinking about how much they hate that subject and that same few step walk out their senior year of high school still hating that subject. Hints the reason so many students fail in classes like math, English and science .Teachers do not add excitement to the classrooms and neither does the school. Many students see school as social hour because of the easy class or boredom they feel by sitting there. Where accountability starts is with the government that puts its money where into the schools, and parents and community members who instill the value of education in their students. Without this the teachers blamed for our collective failures.

Obama's Education Reform

Recently I've been doing alot of looking into the Obama Education Reform and how as a college student it would benefit me. And it amazed me to see what all he plans to do with this reform. One this is lengthen the school year. I already spend 32 out 52 weeks in school why make it another 6 or 7 weeks. I'm sorry but that is way to much time to me because if the lengthen the year that means that I will have to pay more than before towards tuition.

One thing he plans to do that is in my favor is raise the maximum Pell Grant award to $5,550 a year. This is great for students who really need it that have lost their jobs in the last year or students who can't work and go to school to.He also promised to push for a $2,500 a year tuition tax credit for students from working families. For students and families like mine these things are amazing. I come from a single parent home(single mother) where my mother was lied off the start of '09. Yes I know college student can get Finical Aid but finical aid only covers so much for a student.

Home sickness: The feeling of missing everything you've ever know..

I miss the spring time sun.The feeling of the sun beating down on you while making dandelion wishes across the world till your blue in the face.It's funny how much you seem to miss as you get older and go off to college. Little things you never thought you'd miss.Like the feeling of belonging to something and knowing you always will. Or how embassing you parent(s) can be but you love them all the same. Well as I hit midterm and spring break I see how badly I miss being at home with my mom.I miss my girls, my family, my old high school( which is funny because I hated that place) just everything I remember about home. I know it's sad right. I just live 30 mintes away why be home sick? Well when you leave everything you've ever know and ever belong to, to go off chasing some dream of your sooner than later will your mind snap you back into reality and show you what your missing.

To me this blog has become less of a homework project and more of a way of tell my girls everything I would normally tell them in a day. Like how much i miss them and how much I ♥ them. It's funny how when your in high school you dream of being out off at college going to class partying your life way. Until you really start to live it and see how much your missing everything you hated in high school. I hated school the hall ways, and not having many classes with my friends. But now i missing being in the nosies crowed hallways, the teacher yelling to stop this or don't do that put up that ipod/cell phone.

But soon I will be home for a week which means a week with my mom a week with my girls :). I'm so excited!!! Spring 2010 here I come even though i'm not going anywhere i plan to make the best of the time I have off! I'm out from the 12th until 21st so i'm only working 4days of that then the other 6days are all mine to do what I please:)!

Well now I feel randoma and like i'm rambaling on and on, so I'm gonna go watch a the new music video to one of my fave bands the Gorillaz on Youtube. Then so Notruious BIG Video Since he died 13 years ago today..Maybe i'll find one I like and post it on here.

"Welcome to Your new addiction"

Ever since I was a little child all I can remember is seeing people with Tattoos and remember how bad i wanted one.I remember taking sharpies, pens, marker, just anything I could get my hands on and draw on myself. Giving myself my own temp tattoos that would come off by the time I left school or that would be easily hidden by my shirt or hoodie.

"You can't tattoo a child!" my aunt would always said, "It's illegal and against God's will."

But I never seemed to care. I wanted one and I had it set in my mind that when I was old enough I was going to have one hell or high water.

Growing up I've always been know as the black sheep along with my mother. I've never really seemed to fit in but my Dolly(granny) and my middle aunt always seemed to love me the best. I may have been the black sheep but I was the prize black sheep. Maybe it was because I was the baby's baby or maybe because I was the last baby girl. Whatever the case was I was prized to my family. So when my mom got her 1st tattoo and showed my family they were outraged at the fact my mom would do that. But my mom has never really been a normal mom. My mom has always been younger then her age,which to me has always been a good thing. When my mom was 30 physically, mental she was 21. I've never known it any different. So when I told her I wanted a tattoo she was all for. Even proposing me make it a mother daughter date. Which didn't bother me one bit. So for almost the last year and a half I've been saying my 18Th birthday I was going....well it never happened. So this past Saturday my dream of getting a tattoo finally happened.


For weeks I've been counting down the days till I would finally get my tattoo. I had a countdown set up on my phone so it would let me know when the day finally arrived. I felt like I was waiting forever. But Saturday finally arrived and I was up bright and early. I knew that my mom's appointment was at 11:00 and mine was at 12:00.I was pumped but nervous about. We arrived at Bleed Blue Tattoos a place located on the north side of UK's Campus above J Allen Studios which is just down from the Mellow Mushroom. . I had been researching this place for months knowing that if I was going to pay big bucks for a tattoo I wanted some place not just good but GREAT. After a month of calling around and researching I knew Bleed Blue was the place for me. When I walked into Bleed Blue the smokey feel of incense hit me in the face. I'm gonna be sick. But I know this is something I want so I'm willing to be sick in order to get what I want. I get up to the 2ND floor and buzz buzz buzz greets me. Now the butterflies have over taken my stomach and I'm really gonna be sick. We get to the counter and are greeted by free condoms and stress balls. All I could think about was how that was the most random thing you could have in a tattoo shop but hey better safe than sorry.

The girl behind the desk greets us "Welcome to Bleed Blue!How can I help you?" Starts to swirl around my head and I have the feeling if i try to talk it would be a mess of word vomit.So I say nothing; I let my mom answer and tell the woman our names and appointment time. the lady Mirisha, I think her name was which isn't important , ask for ID then asks I'm I 18. Now looking at me i look at least 2yrs older then 18 .But i shake my head and hand over my id. She comes back with a page of questions to answer. I answer them quickly and sign.Stu the guy doing my mom's tattoo comes out to get her design. she shows it to him and tells him what she wants and where. Stu draws it up and calls her back. I walk back to the tattoo area and have a seat. Stu starts talking to my mom about tattoos and she starts telling him how she bought me to get my 1st and how she was super cool with and loves Tattoo. I can hear Mirisha telling someone his next appointment is in the tattoo area already with her mom and she's the one in green.

Wait!?! what?!!?!?!? I'm in Green NO!! I'm not ready?!?!? I can hear him coming up behind me. I'm gonna be sick!wait is this real vomit or word vomit coming up?!?!? I take a deep breath and my mind quickly starts racing. Do I really want this? Once it's on me it's never coming off . It will no longer be temps this is the real deal Jeri are you ready??? My thoughts are quickly interrupted by a hand on my shoulder. I turn around to see this guy about my height(5'9) maybe a little taller standing behind me. He's covered in tattoos ,arms, hands,necks,he even has a skull and cross bones by his eye.

"Hey! Are you Jeri?"
"Yes?"
"I'm Jay Rush, you have an appointment with me at 12 right?"
"Yea."
I'm trying to keep my sentences short and quick.
"Well, what are you looking at getting done sweetie?"
I quickly grab my purse and pull out 3pages of creative ideas for one pieces.This piece I've been looking at for weeks now.
"A dandelion,SWEET!"
Sweet is that all you can say is sweet. Give me something else awesome ,amazing,something other then sweet.
"OK well do you want the wording and all or just the dandelion?"
"The whole thing."
"K, just let me draw this up and I'll be right back."
I sit down ,is it to late to tell him i don't want it? JERI SUCK IT UP YOU'VE WANTED THIS FOR YEARS COME ON! A few minutes later Jay show back up with the drawing of my tattoo.It looks amazing .
"Is this your first one?"
"Yep!"
"Sweet I swear it doesn't hurt that bad."
I was trying to believe him since he's covered head to toe.I have a high tolerance for pain but will this be to much?
"I want you 2 sit right here while I put the stencil on and you tell me what you think."
"K"
He sprayed my shoulder with cold soapy water so the stencil would stick.
"Have A look"
"OMG IT LOOKS.....AMAZING"
"OK, well are you ready? I'm about to make the 1st mark."
"IS THAT IT!?!?!?"
"well yea."
"I thought it would hurt that ain't nothing!"
"AHHHHH WE GOT US A LITTLE G IN HERE!!!"
By the time Jay had finished I was so excited to see it i couldn't see straight.
"All right Mama check it out"
"AHHHH Jay I LOVE IT!"
I run over to let my mom and Stu see it. They thought it was pretty cool. I was so excited I couldn't wait to show my friends.Jay told me my cleaning instructions and told me the price.
"OK little G your all done!Welcome to your new addiction! Come back and see me"
If only Jay would have known I'd be so hooked to ink I'd be back the next day he would have laugh. Which the next day i went back and let Stu tattoo me.

Some say to survive it: You need to be as mad as a hatter.....Which luckily I am!!

There is a place. Like no place on Earth. A land full of wonder, mystery, and danger! Some say to survive it: You need to be as mad as a hatter.....Which luckily I am!

Ha sometimes I believe the only reason I survive everyday is because I'm as mad as the Mad Hatter.I believe this gets me through day by day. Since college has started my life has gone up down ,left, right, just every which way. But I know a few things.

• Dependable -reliable ,always there.This is the best word to describe my girls. I haven't had much luck in my life in keep people around but my girls have been there for me no matter what is going on in my life at that time.If I cry they are there with a shoulder for me to cry on. If I'm sick they text me to see how I'm or stop by. And times when I just wanna be left alone they are still there helping me in whatever issue i'm having at that time or whatever is bothering me.
• Unconditional love -to love someone regardless of one's actions or beliefs. My mom is the only person who could love me no matter what I've done. I honestly believe my mom is one of the only good hearted people left in this world. I get my good heart from her I can tell. No matter what I do she loves me just the way I am.Haha like for example every since I was a little girl I told her I wanted a tattoo. So she would get mad but laugh at the fact i always drawed on my self with pen.
• It's funny how my mom can do little things to cheer me up when I need her the most.The other night my mom bought me a card and a gift. Just that little gift made a world of difference to me. It made me feel loved , it made me feel wanted, if just made me feel that everything was ok and that nothing was wrong.Just little things like this in life make me who I am. I have a few people around that love me for and that are always around :).

I'm With the Party Rock Crew all Drinks are free!

sadly last week my last concert for February come and went.My mom and I went to see The Black Eyed Peas,Ludacris, and LMFAO in concert at Rupp Arena. Only one word could explain that concert...AMAZING! LMFAO which is small band from Los Angeles that consists of Redfoo (Stefan Gordy) and Sky Blu (Skyler Gordy) rocked. The band plays Electro-hop which is also known as electronic rap .LMFAO is know for the Party Rock crew which is what they call their fans and groupies when they do after parties. I wouldn't advise LMFAO for anyone who doesn't like suggestive lyrics because believe me there are many sexual and lyrics about drinking.

"Shake your money maker like somebody 'bout to pay ya"

The next act which beside LMFAO i love is Ludacris. Ludacris is the 1st rapper from my childhood that I learned every word to at least two of his songs in about two days. I'm not proud but learning his lyrics took me into my love of poetry and music. So being there with my mom bought back my memories of being in her car and hearing the 1st Ludacris song.Ludacris did a few songs then it was the moment everyone had been waiting for.....

THE BLACK EYED PEAS!!!!

The Black eyed peas made grand entrance! They came out of the floor on tramalines which was amazingly cool! They played about every song I could think of for them. Also each member got there chance to come out in there own way and sang there own songs. Will.I.Am came out twice. The 1st time he came out and did a freestyle using the messages that people had messaged to his blackberry phone. It was great!!!! Then Apl.De.Ap come out and had these robotic style women dancing all over him as he sung to songs off the new album The E.N.D. Then Fergie came out looking very beatuiful and song a few songs off her album she had out a while back. Then Taboo last but not least did a few songs :) Easy was to sum up the concert was it was an amaxing expericnce!!!

"I am Jeri’s broken heart. Living in a World so cold Wasted away"

I have my mother's Big heart and my fathers big brown eyes. So I guess you can say I've seen and felt alot of pain in my short little soon to be 19 years. With my mother's heart I care far to much for people only to get hurt or left behind by them. I guess if you want you can say it's a down fall. Which I fear will lead my heart to in end get me hurt worst then ever before. I try to live my life to the fullest but fear causes me to step back some and be scared to get out there.

My week started ok till I had to go to work Monday. I hate Mondays.It seems to me to be the slowest day of the week. Like it will never pass I'll be stuck in Monday forever. Well this Monday started at the same as every other. I woke up late for work but seem to get back on track after a few minutes.It looked like i was going to have extra time so I decided to head to Starbucks before i had to drag myself into work. I walked in and got my fave vanilla latte which seems to always make my day better. But today it didn't it seemed like normal coffee to me. I really didn't think much of it as chugged it on my walk to the office.I still find it funny in the ice and cold i rather walk everywhere so i can get my thoughts together.Well when i walked in everyone was there and everything seemed normal. Everyone was laughing having fun. So I sit down and clocked in. I tried to tune everyone out for a minute or to so I could get my thoughts in order. My boss came in with her cheery self like she does every morning. I guess I never really noticed it until this morning of all days.

"Good Morning Ladies" Paula said with a smile.

"Good Morning Ms. Dunn" Priscilla said.

"Good Morning Paula" I said.She kind of smiled and walked to her office. It has become a daily routine in office.One that I'm not sure of but it makes me feel welcomed.

I'll never be sure why little things like this stand in my memory verses other things in my life. But it does.I haven't had many bosses in my life just 4. But out of all of them i have the most fun being in the office with Paula.I'm Letting my random brain get the best of me now. Thinking of what will happen if Paula really leaves. Sometimes I get the feel I'm like Jack in Fight Club.Sometime in the office I feel I’m six years old again, passing messages between my parents. I am Jack’s broken heart. Kind of like A cloud hangs over,and mutes my happiness.A thousand ships couldn't sail me back from distress. I need to stop my brain. I need to stop this thinking. She can't leave she can't.

"First my father leaves me, now you. I’m all alone. I am Jeri’s Broken Heart." It's funny how you can change movie quotes to fit you at that moment. Like the I am Jeri' Broken Heart. Fight Club memory swirl around my head. Underneath the shadow of mistakes I have made I feel like I'm breaking inside. I don't want to fall and say I lost it all. Cause there's a part of me that is about to hit the wall Leaving pieces of me behind.

"Dear Agony, Life Starts Now!!! Sincerely, Memento Mori"

Ahh this week has finally has arrived. I've been waiting for this week for a month and a half. Last night was the Three Days Grace, Breaking Benjamin, and Flyleaf Concert at Rupp Arena. It was amazing, my girls, Jay and I enjoyed it so so so much. For those who have No idea who they are Flyleaf is a little band from Texas that play what I and many others like to can "Christan Rock". Most of the songs faith influences but lead singer Lacey Mosley doesn't necessarily believe that makes Flyleaf strictly a Christian band. Breaking Benjamin is the perfect head banging music. Breaking Benjamin(named for the lead singer Benjamin Burnley)is an American alternative metal band . Their music is also classified as Post-grunge. Three Days Grace's musical style has generally been described as alternative metal and Hard rock throughout the band's career. In a review of the band's debut album, compared them to rock bands Chevelle and Helemet. They have also been described as "heavy and catchy, with chewy chunks of assurance and fury thrown in for added measure and accessible alt-metal attack of blunt lyrics and crunching rhythms" that retains the melodic sound of its predecessor "despite its lyrical darkness”. According to the lead singer Adam Goniter the band’s influences style is “ Musically there's a lot of different influences, but lyrically it's hard to have different influences because you just write.”

But not trying to be religious but last night the devil was on me. After see Flyleaf play. Jay decided he needed to smoke and the girls needed Drinks. So Jess and I went with Jay, on our way to the smoking area Jay gets a text message from his ex-girlfriend asking him to meet her before he went back to his section. Now keep in mind she is at the concert with another guy. Little back story- I can't stand this girl. she has done nothing but toy with my boy Jay's heart and I'm sick and tired of it! I'm one of the nicest sweetest people you'll ever meet but you mess with my friends and family then i am a very different person.

But anyway, He met her and I asked Jess to stay with me till she left well I saw him hug her and almost kiss and all heck flew through me. I just looked at Jess and said "LETS GO NOW!!!!!!!!!" Jess just looked at me for a second and then ran when I got up to her. Jay finally caught up to us when we got back to our section. He kept asking me what was wrong and I kept saying knowing I just wanted to yell at him. He's like "she said Jeri really doesn't like me does she?" Then he said she was talking about me. Here is my theory, if you say something to my face rather then behind my back I'm less likely to snap because you were man/woman enough to say it to my face. But this chick wasn't woman enough to say it to me.." So Snitches and Talkers Get Stitches and Walkers!" ha ha.Kidding.. But back to the concert it was GREAT!!! We got pictures made with to Radio Personality from Z-Rock 103 Johnny Maze and Twitch! We are HUGE fans of theirs.

But the concert was amazing! Our seats were right next to the stage which meant we were right next to the bass. Which sounded like a good idea at the time but by the time we left Our ears seem to ring like bell from the beating of the bass. And we felt like our faces had melted off from the pyotechnics that Three days Grace used during there set.It was funny the next day because we posted things on Rupps facebook page and one of the MarketingBut it was a Great Night :)

(For Everyone Wondering about the title of this Blog it's the names of the bands CDs.Dear Agony is Breaking Benjamin's New CD title.Life Starts now is Three Days Grace's and also the name of the tour .Then Memento Mori is Flyleaf's title and is Latin for "be mindful of death" or "remember you will die.")

"Just let me clear my head I think I've had too much You're so disappointing"

Monophobia: The Fear of being alone. Empty by yourself no one around.

Recently I find myself lost more and more in the shuffle of college life. I kind of live a very boring one because I never do anything outside of homework and working. I mean there is the weekend outing with the girls or my mom but other then that well....nothing. For example I spent my weekend doing homework and watching the pregnancy Pact on Lifetime. I was suppose to spend the weekend with my girls ,Deven and Jay. But Deven had to work, Jess was moving so Jay was helping and Nikki and Leah are sick and had to work this weekend. Ugggh...I don't know.

I need to get out of my shell of little old Georgetown and see what comes of me in Lexington. I don't want to lose me in the process and I don't think my family and friends want to lose me either.I'm looking forward to Next week! It's the Three Days Grace,Breaking Benjamin and Flyleaf Concert! I'm ready to see it with my girls.It will be so much funny and we are right next to the stage which will be amazing!Maybe if I try to make more friends outside my little ring of friends life on UK's campus would be a little eaiser.Or maybe not. I just don't know. It's like I want to get out but have a fear of being the outsider and not being liked by others. But If Jess is right then no one can resit being friends with me. :)

“A smile is the Shortest distance between two people”

“That smile of your Makes my heart beat like an 808 drum”

This weekend I have to say was one of the best I’ve had in a while :).I was a little home sick all week and talking to my friends on facebook wasn’t helping either. So they decided I would come home for the weekend. So I went home so I could go bowling with my girls, my best friend’s boyfriend Peter and our guy friend Jay. At first I wasn’t looking forward to it very much because the guy I liked wasn’t going to be there. When I invited him to come he told me he just started a new job and worked nights so he wouldn’t be able to come. I was so sad I really didn’t want to go after that but I knew my girls would be mad at me if I skipped out on them because of a guy. So I went when we got there, it was just me my friends Jess, Jay and Lele. So we went ahead and got our lanes, shoes and bowling balls. While we were waiting for the others my friend Jay kept saying he was waiting for someone and he wondered where they were. Me and the girls just thought he had a new girlfriend and we were about to meet her or something. So none of us really thought anything else about it. My friends all slowly one by one started rolling in till we were all there. Then finally I heard Jay say they’re here, I turned around to see the guy that I have the biggest crush on Deven standing behind me. Jay looks at me and kind of gives me that you owe me one for this look. All I could do was smile, Just the Idea of Deven being there made my whole night. I missed my girl but getting to see the guy that I’ve liked since my Junior year of high school made it to the top of the list along with seeing my girls .

“Gone But Never Forgotten”

On January 23,2010 a good friend of mine passed away from an Overdose. It’s kind of hard because I was just talking to him the other day about how he was going to clean up his life for his baby girl. He was a good person he just had a few issue that needed to be fixed. His daughter now will never know her daddy. It’s painful for friends to lose someone but it’s even more painful for a child to lose someone and not understand what is going on.My thought and Prays are with the family of Matthew "Shak" Shackelford.I'll miss you man, I still can't believe your gone.

“Gone Too Soon”

You took chances
Once too many times.
As a child you thought -
"Oh no, never me."
Life is a gift,
Given and taken at some
Unknown time.
Your time came too soon -
Your life was over in a flash.
The fun you shared,
The joy you brought,
All just a memory -
Behind us.

R.I.P.

Matthew "Shak" Shackelford

Dec 8th, 1989-Jan 23rd, 2010

Gone But Never Forgot

beginning of a beatuiful Adventure

Well this happens to be the 1st blog. Yay! Well to tell you about my life. I'm from a little town in Kentucky. My town was named for General Charles Scott. So as you can guess I from Scott County or Georgetown. The only thing my town is famous for is well... a Toyota plant. The sad part is if Toyota wasn't there my town wouldn't be either. Everything is built around Toyota and everyone that lives there works there to. It kind sad that if you don’t make it out of Georgetown you more than likely will end up working at Toyota. It’s sad when people get amazes because someone got out of that little one horse town. I'm not downing my town or Toyota by any means. I love it, it's just I want something more.

"The Goals and Dreams of a Dreamer"
I have dreams and hopes of getting out and getting into a big city. There are so many things I plan to do. I want to be a graphic designer with a minor in Photography. I love photography and just like my photography I’m random. I also love writing and drawing and dancing. I’ve been dancing since I was a little girl. It was part of my mom plan to make me girly so she started me in ballet as a child and my love has grown since then. Currently I just left my little town to go to college. But i'm not too far from home. I moved to Lexington, which is about 30min from my hometown, for a little. I did this in order to live out my dream of a college education. I love it but hate it at the same time. There are so many things I love but that I hate.

"Everybody needs a support system"

I love that I’ve met new people and gotten out of Georgetown for a little. But at the same time I miss my family and my friends. My family is basically my support system.My family is mostly made up single mom that have done everything in their power to make sure their kids had everything they wanted and need. I miss them, but most of all I miss my mom. It’s been us for so long that I’m lost without her. She’s also living her dream of getting her MBA and I’m just as proud of her as she is of me if not more.It's funny how we get mad at each other and bump head but i wouldn't trade her for anything!It's all part of being mother and daughter. Besides having my mom as my best friends I have seven best friends and I wouldn’t them for the world.

They go by the names of Leah, Nikki, Kara, Jess, Gracie, Amber and Jay. I love them all they have been their when the rest of the world has walked out on me.Jay is My best Guy friend. He's been there when i've needed someone to talk to about guys or just a shoulder to cry on. So have My girls but Jay does it from a guys stand point. Leah, Gracie and Amber all have kids that I call my nieces and nephew and well they are more like sisters then friends. Their mom’s have pretty much adopted me and my mom has pretty much adopted them and Nikki too!!! Their Kids Robbie, Bailey and Jaclyn are my fave little kids beside my little cousins. (Picture: Jaclyn Noel,My Niece)

"Dreaming In quotations"

I basically live my life in quotes. It’s funny how many I find that I fall in love♥ with that I live life by or repeat over and over. Here are just a few that I ♥:

♥Two weeks together is all it took..two weeks for me 2 fall for you~Dear John
♥Her:the way people act around u is like their scared of you.
Him: we'll their scared of how i use to be
Her: U don't scare me john
Him: But u scare me~Dear John

♥"Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib, not from his feet to be walked on, not from his head to be superior, but from his side to be equal! Under the arm to be protected, & next to the heart to be loved. "
♥philippians 4:13 -I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
♥Never say things Could always be worst God takes that as a Personal Challenge.-Sqecial Button
♥" Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope." -Renee
♥I'm gonna go stand outside. So when someone asks where I am you can tell them.. Im outstanding-Shay Fields

♥Joshua 1:9-Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God [is] with thee whithersoever thou goest.

Some come from friends or songs or stories I’ve read and sometimes even the bible. Well I guess i'll go work on the blog for my niece i'll Link them. there will be a link on the left for it called Dear Jaclyn,. That is enough for now I’ll post some picture and been done with this for the night.☮♥ ☺